A few weeks ago, after returning from our trip to Elbow Cay, I got a call from our baby girl. As she is in the Education Program her break would be March Break instead of a reading week in February. “Mom, I really need to come home. I just need too”. How do you say no to that one, though I did turn it into a bit of reality check and made her pay her own airline ticket. Oh evil woman that I am lol!
With a quick phone call to her brother and his girlfriend DC, a quite week at home began with a bang! I absolutely love having a house full of people, teasing, laughter and stories that are probs best not told…. I cant wipe the smile off my face right now as I type this. Three extra the first night, 7 extra the next with the icing on the cake being a visit from a married friend of the kids and her children the next morning. During the visit were were able to FaceTime in the Scottish group making the family visit complete! Bring’em on! It was wonderful. Sunday evening came, the extras headed back to their reality and quiet time began here in the middle of no where.
The next four days were bliss. Baby girl and my husband began a binge watch of Shamless. I must admit, there is no way I could watch it, I tried. Honest. I just couldn’t get past the language and lifestyle. I am a bit of a baby. Though the up side was that my bailing allowed father and daughter to have some time to catch up. Chatting about everything under the sun when our good ole country internet would crap out. Or while coming into the kitchen to scrounge for what ever food they could from me.
I set myself up everyday at the island in our kitchen. The walls in front and behind me are mostly made up of windows and glass doors. On days such as today, the sunlight beams in and can cause a blinding reflection on our black and gold veined flooring. My “perch” allows me to keep an eye (and perhaps an ear) on what ever is happening in the house. Last week it was awful to almost hear the sighs of contentment and the smiles from my two couch potatoes.
Midweek, our son came for an overnight (thank you Mother Nature you crazy mixed up wench, this year anyway) for the snowstorm. Zeeman is currently working in Effort Town, so it was safer to stay the night here in the middle of nowhere. A few headlocks, whining from his sister and perhaps an argument later he was off to work in the morning; leaving behind a sad baby sister.
Getting up way to early on Friday morning, grabbing the little dog and hopping into the truck to take her down the escarpment to the train, baby girl told me that she wasn’t ready to leave. It had been a great week, doing nothing, hanging with Dad and Zeeman she said. Getting a touch, kiss or hug when ever she felt like it from Mom. With a quick “love you Mom , love you Oli”, she turned from the truck and quickly moved into the station.
I pulled away with Oli crying and barking for his girl as we left the station, my crying adding to the sad sounds of good bye.
Be safe baby girl – to the moon and back
Hard to believe dear imaginary readers, its been a week – over a week- without our big dog. I still look for him every day, when cutting peppers he would always come for a snack; eating my breakfast, share your toast please mom…..The tears are less, the weight and pressure on my chest a bit lighter but still there.
I admit I lost most of the last week to grief – actually did ab so lutley nothing on Saturday, I mean honest to goodness nothing. Don’t remember if I have ever done that without being very sick. I kicked myself in the pants on Sunday and made myself move. Little Oli no longer looks for his big buddy and has gotten used to (I think) taking walks with just the two of us. Some days though he still has that SPCA dog look on this whole body all day long.
My husband and I are off on a trip for a week and have a great lady coming to live with Oli. It’s very nice to have someone come to your house to man the pup, but I am still concerned how he will do without us here.
I did manage to work out a bit yesterday and today, even though I am sad this “fluff” still has to go. Proud of myself that I did not fall into the whole bad comfort food thing this past week. Perhaps a wee bit of gin and a little wine but not whole bottles. Positive right!?! I have been thinking of how I can work out on a small island with a group of people and not look life a goof. Guess getting over that feeling is part of the process, just gotta do what I gotta do and to heck with what anyone else thinks right?
Here is to the little steps – mental and physical that get us to where we want to go.
Today will be the first full day without having a single extra person in our house since the middle of December. Our Holiday Season began with the return of our oldest daughter bringing home her boyfriend from Scotland, tagging along by way of Tel Aviv was a friend our two oldest had met in La Paz a few years ago. From the time the kids walked through our door, after a visit to the Toronto Christmas Market, our front door became a revolving door, laundry never stopped and it was a mission to keep food in the fridge and in the pantry. I thought I was well prepared lol!
The youngest of our family rolled in from the East Coast and with her another addition to our family arrived from Rhode Island. Our last girls were home and it was time to truly get family on! 12 hours and 25 people later, we were all in the Holiday mood. This holiday time made my husband and I think that perhaps we CAN all survive adult children.
There wasn’t a single fight, there was help cooking and cleaning up. Loud euchre games, beer pong, air hockey and FIFA tourneys. Lots of UK Gin, good wine and amazing food. We taught our Israeli things about snow and Christmas and fun times in Toronto. Watching a 29 year old Scot and our daughter build snowmen with an almost 3 year old is enough to melt your heart. Christmas with an Israeli and a Scot, one for the record books!
Now it is time to begin the big dig out, not of snow but of detritus left behind by our band of merry revellers. Getting things organized again may take awhile, I think I may have to take time to have a cry in this empty,too quiet house. Miss them all.
Its 11:46 the morning of December 2, 2016 and I am having a tough time putting myself into gear. Our kids have been suggesting for a while now that my husband and I check out Suits on Netflix. Last night was the beginning of what I am sure will turn into a Suits Marathon.
See, the problem is that today is December freaking 2! My house is not clean let alone ready to be decorated for Christmas, my second cup of coffee is yet to kick in (should have made some delicious Just Us coffee urghhhhhh), and I hear the heavy thump from the tail of our family labradoodle. Next, a sorrowful howl will come from our Tibetian. Come on Mom, you can do it! One foot in front of the other, let ‘s go for our walk!!!
It is truly amazing how much structure and habit move our lives in a positive forward direction. I know I have created my own puppy problems, heck, I live my life as our dogs support system! Its like they know I am typing about them, the Tibetian is loosing his head at what we call “squirrel theatre”. Now he runs up to our bed to hop up and look out the window to get a better perspective on our street in the middle of nowhere. The Labradoodle looks up the stairway and then flops on the floor. He too was up watching Suits, guess I have a tired buddy after all.
Ok, one, two, three…..nope. Nothing there. And the count down to Christmas begins to apply pressure
Ok I give up! I have no idea how to be the parent of adult children. My white flag is in the air..that’s it, I am done.
I attended an event last week where an acquaintance shared with me that she admires the way we raised our children and that we are their friend. I thanked her very much but was a thinking to myself, really? Their friends? We raised our family away from any members of our immediate family for many reasons, none of which i will go into here. We didn’t have much but were rich in our own minds because we had our little family. We went everywhere together, a hockey game for anyone one of them, there we were. Figure skating, yip there they are again. Vacation? A road to trip to Florida, Northern Ontario, sure can we all come and bring the dogs? Joined at the hip.
We moved to the middle of nowhere and things changed a little. My husband wasn’t at home as much as he was making his way in the big smoke but when he could we were all out to support each other again. Our friends I think like hanging with our kids, playing with our kids even now that they are all grown and trying to find their own ways. But how, pray tell how in the heck do you blend possible life partners into a group that has been this close without there being issues? How do you discuss it without someone deciding that you are an ogre and not just trying to find a way to grow the family amicably.
I failed at it miserably in the last 48 hours if any one ever reads this and has the magic answer let me know
I have been contemplating beginning this blog for quite some time. To be honest, I have no idea how to do this – be prepared for new blogger errors! I began submitting reviews to Trip Advisor a number of years ago, I was finding planning trips for my family to be a bit on the challenging side and thought perhaps my two cents worth could assist others. How the heck did that lead to this you ask? I don’t have a clue lol. I am a 50 something year old woman who is trying to have fun, get healthy, work out, figure out this how to parent adult children thing, travel and figure out my next steps. Whew! Holy run on sentence Batman! My husband, 2 dogs,a negotiable number of children and I live in Ontario, Canada in the middle of nowhere but in the middle of everything. You know, that place between two towns where you decide which town you are going to shop in is determined by how much effort you want to put into yourself that day. Lets call the two towns Effortown and Waayyyy to Comforabletown from here on in.
I have taken the blogging plunge here on this day as it just felt “right”, time to stop thinking and start doing. I have no idea if anyone other than me will read this blog, but if a miracle happens and someone finds this – I hope it puts a smile on their face, makes them chuckle or prompts further thought. I am going to try to write a little something here each day. Let the emptynesteralmost game begin! Hope I don’t bore you to death :)