It is a beautiful day here in the middle of nowhere, currently I am perched at my favorite spot at our island. Some of the windows are open and the bird song has helped soothe the two tired dogs at my feet to sleep. A long walk involving hills and meeting cars and people started our day off well. Our soon to be daughter in law dropped off their puppy Murphy this morning, I am always sure to get my steps in when he comes to visit. Not only steps, but walking with a puppy, even here in the middle of nowhere often means meeting new people. People means talking, talking can cause me anxiety. Today, just like pushing myself to write, publish and share this post, talking happened and I survived. I cannot even explain the nervousness and anxiety that went in to posting and sharing yesterday. Thank you imaginary readers for sharing some of your day with me.
These guys were my walking pals today.
On my walks I often get spend time thinking about changes that I have to make in order to grow and take baby steps off the tightrope. Today I was thinking back to when my final long term contract wasn’t renewed. It may seem strange, but I was fine with the end of my time there. The last year was very stressful, seemed like I was constantly sick (gee, do ya think my body was trying to tell me something) and I was tired, oh so tired. I wasn’t at the place that made me think of me, in fact that is something that I really need to work on. It was easy to let my work life go, I was ready, thankfully due to hard work and good planning the love of my immediate life and I were able to step back. The question was would we be able to step back together and not kill each other haha! What was I am sure a big surprise to many was that, yup, we survived that change and still chugging along. Thanks be for a house with many rooms and a garden to work in.
Living in the middle of nowhere makes it really easy to not use my voice - talking to others often involves a trip to Efforttown. At some point over this last year when it looked like this site and blog were going to become a reality I knew that I was going to have to follow through on some positive changes. I had many possibilities to choose from - when I left work my wardrobe consisted of work clothes and clothes fit for the garden, not much in between. As I moved into what ever my new life was going to be I moved myself into athletic comfy clothes. Unfortunately, I didnt apply the word “athletic “ to any other point in my life. I got a little fluffy, something else to work on. The picture on the home page of this site involved a lot of “ah, NO Mom..you cant wear that” and finally my girls putting together an ensemble from my closet. Who knew that stuff was in there!
In the fall I had been trying to work in the garden and work out a bit - sticking to the working out plan wasn’t working out so well. Working in the garden is a bit of a safe haven for me but I have a tendency to over do it, 3 hours no probs. How about 4 days of 6 hours a day...hello bad low back - that was September. In October I joined an online fitness group, you had to make a video to introduce yourself and check in after every workout. The bad back lead to meeting a new Chiropractor, the new fitness program lead to a bad hip this equaled bailing from the fitness group after a while which removed the having to talk to new people.
This blog is a way for me to take baby steps sharing with you my dear imaginary readers my long journey backward, to chatting and laughter, fitness and finding a new casually dressed and fancier me.