Oh Weebly......how you frustrate me GGGRRRRRRRRR.....

Anyhoo......dear imaginary reader, I have chatted about The Plan and my intention to become a stronger, steadier on my feet version of myself. I would like a leaner shape, but don’t necessarily care what the scale has to tell me. Would like to loose the bat wings (hahahah), and the hip/periformis pain (literally a pain in my a**!). I want, no WILL be able to walk on loose sand, not worry about uneven ground (including cobble stones) and all round feel and look like a healthier me. Whew! There...down in black and white. Makes a difference when you commit to other people, even if the majority of them are imaginary! I know the real ones, will take pleasure in kicking my tush when it is required. Yes, I have a date that I want to achieve this for, I mean seriously can you hear the wedding bells? But I have to be at my best before that so I can begin the search for appropriate MOG wear!

I decided to have an organized approach. Don’t get carried away now - I have not joined a gym. I simply do not have the confidence to do so - women can , no people can be so catty and mean and I am just not up to dealing with that kind of B.S. right now. As you know, Fit Guy set me up with a excercise program which I am following and can change up if I get bored (hasn’t happened yet, still trying to not be so perfect with it haha). I have been seeing an amazing Physiotherapist for a long time, and will continue to do so. That said, the length of time I am able to go between treatments is longer, so something must be working right dear imaginary reader? I am fortunate that my future DIL is now a practicing chiropractor, I have added her awesome skills to The Plan. I must note that already she has accomplished a great stink eye that says “oh no you won’t”, when I say I’m going to do something or she sees me head off to do something that I think I can do, but know that I shouldn’t. I can feel it drilling through me before I even look at her hahahah! I tracked my food intake and sent it along to a Registered Dietician, but more about that later. Last but not least is my not so gentle Giant Registered Massage Therapist. The Giant, is a new addition to the team, not that his treatment is new to me - I just could not have gotten far into a treatment without tapping out before now.

I am working out in our sunroom/weight room

The view is great, between that space and our living room I can do most of what I want/need to do. Still looking for a spot to put a TRX and need to get some kettle bells, but things are moving along

I am one that always feels better when I have moved, not necessarily when I am moving - in the end I am happy that i did it, ya know? I believe the thing that is proving to be the biggest challenge for me is food. Turns out that I wasn’t eating enough and not at consistent times. My poor body was holding tight to calories cause it didnt know when the heck it was going to get fed next! I generally make good choices and don’t eat processed foods, and yes dear imaginary reader, I have cut back on my wine consumption.

Well...best get back to the joys of laundry and working out. Have a great day dear imaginary reader. Take good care.

I am currently sitting under our pergola which is located by the pool at the back of our yard. If I look straight ahead (and forget out the post supporting the pergola I look across the pool, notice the garden, green lawn and then bush. To my left, if I squint a bit I can pretend that our neighbors garage isnt there - this way I just see deck, flowers, a picnic table and our B.B.Q. To the right, it is the bank of hydrangea and lilac trees that I have shown you before dear imaginary reader. Behind them lies our horseshoe pit, fire pit and lawn which stretches to bush as well.

I am out here to get some work done on this blog, as well as to have the warmth of the sun hopefully assist me in feeling a bit better. Have had a horrible headache for three days now and hope that some sun and fresh air help me to feel better.

The pool needs to be cleaned but I can’t get up. I am mesmerized by the soft, gentle breeze that every now and then lifts a wisp of hair on my forehead, or kisses my shin as it sits in the sun. I lift my head, close my eyes and do my very best to be present, in this very moment. Just when I think, I got this, a beautiful hummingbird buzzes by me to take nourishment from the pot to my left. I watch him for the few seconds that he is there, then move on to a pot further away.

I can hear shells being dropped to the pool deck by the birds above. I am reminded of the lovely Blue Jay that landed on one of the trees close to the kitchen window while I was chatting with LLB this morning.

Ollie has just gotten up from his place in the sun by my feet, he is going in to explore what the heck is making the sound in the Adams Needles where I found him on our fire alarm night. I can hear him rustling the plants, and the jingle of his tags.I can see the needle tops dancing as he progresses on his hunt which will be for naught.

In the background there is a faint hum of traffic (damn people who have found out about our back roads) and the cicadas.

This is just the second time I have sat out here this summer, and I am happy to do it alone. Ah...I can hear a tree frog trilling! Wee birds chirping.....

So very blessed to live where I do.

I will sign off for today so that I can be present in my backyard haven..try to take time today dear imaginary reader, and you too Ectogirl to be present and mindful.

Cold enough for you dear imaginary reader ? A couple more days and we will be complaining about the heat perhaps for the last time this summer - a sobering thought. Don’t think that I am quite ready for the cold if the last two days can be used as a measure.

TLOMIL and I had dinner with our friends Knight and Never Stops the other evening, always a good time...as usual my guy was his usual witty self; always ready with a story or a new joke (please be a new joke was my main thought or the evening shhhh, don’t tell him). We hadn’t seen them in a while, eventually we got around with catching up regarding our families and our selves - I wasn’t that great at sharing what I have been up to, what a surprise! Thank goodness Knight reads this (ok, so I know a couple of not so imaginary readers, though am thankful for all of you (3, haha) ! Anyhooo..the next day I had sort of the same conversation with Silly who by the way is rocking the new job, not there was ever any doubt. I thought to myself, perhaps it was time to reflect on progress and yes, avoidances.

This summer has been a busy one, the heat slowed us down but as my hipstagram account has been leading to, we finally finished chipping all the shake!

I have begun to move it around though the rain yesterday slowed my progress and currently I am avoiding the cold by writing this :). It is my hope that by the time I have all the gardens put to bed that I will feel caught up, weird I know but having to wait for the roof to be completed put us behind. Then the heat, then vacation, then avoidance again. Amazing what else you can find to do sometimes isnt it dear imaginary reader?

At times, I choose to torture myself by attempting to knit, I am not good at it and have been promised that at some point I will begin to enjoy it (really???????). I have been working on this small piece all since the end of June.

Due to technical issues this last week, I am joining this blog already in progress hahah!

As predicted above, it got warm again, have enjoyed our pool more in the last week then the whole summer. You no longer feel cooked when on the pool deck. The mulch is almost totally spread - our yard finally looks ready for summer just in time to close things up, sad but true. It is amazing how one thing can have a major impact on the rest of your plans. Love the new roof but.....

I found myself last week feeling scattered and rushed, in the end content with the forced break Weebly made me take. Feeling like you are running out of time is not a good feeling dear imaginary reader. The count down is on the TLOMIL’s hinge replacement, I’m feeling the need to be organized, everything in its place. My refrain for the week was once again, it doesn’t have to be perfect - just better. I had no idea how often I was saying that to myself until last week. I guess that’s the way I am handling one little part of self care.

So with that dear imaginary reader I must get back to some tasks already in progress..I have taken on a volunteer position along with the Boy and DC..more about that later. Take good care!

TLOMIL and I were working in the ‘couve and staying the weekend to head over to Galliano Island with friends. Our friends had cats that needed care over the weekend, on the way to the ferry we stopped to drop off a house key at their dog walkers house. We went inside to meet the ladies, while there we met this guy,

This is Ollie, the day after the marathon day and night before, hahaha! He had been living at the house in Vancouver for two years as a Foster Dog, by way of a kill shelter in Arlington, Texas. He was rescued, but with no room in the inn so to speak was shipped to Vancouver for fostering and then forgotten. He was loved in the ‘couve but not in the best setting as big dogs picked on him every day. He came to us after a five hour delay for his flight, in the middle of a snow storm. TLOMIL was away so the rest of us piled into the van at midnight, with the steady handed Boy at the wheel. The poor little guy was overwhelmed.

It took a while for him to love us, but mere days, ok a couple of weeks for him to fall madly in love with our Big Dog, Mar (whom we miss soooo much).

You know how it goes with dogs right dear imaginary reader? I know Ollie has been as sad as we are with Mar’s passing, and probs a bit freaked out with the resemblance in both looks and actions with the Murph dog. Ollie came to us afraid of thunderstorms or any loud noises. Seeing a man in dark clothing, baseball cap and sunglasses and look out, you would think he was a guard dog on the attack. He has settled in well over the almost five years, he is such a snuggler.

I am sitting at my perch trying to keep my eyes open all in the name of supporting Ollie. Last night band after band of thunderstorms rolled through our neck of the woods. Of course, being a spidey dog, he knew they were coming before even a rumble was made and he began to quiver. I was asleep and didn’t get his jacket (above) on in time to help the poor soul. There was lots of tight snuggles, soft gentle words spoken with reassuring slow rubs. We would just get back to sleep and another band would come on through. Earlier in the day he had been helping me do some travel goodie sorting -

At around 4:15 a.m. I felt the quivering again and then the beep. Not sure how long it had been going on, it took me a while but -

I killed the dastardly smoke detector! Let’s be serious, I had to turn off the power but not before I had let Ollie outside by the pool for a pee and a respite from the noise. He was shaking so hard he could hardly walk! Power off, I went to the back door to let him in - no dog. For what felt like an hour, no dog! Panic was setting in, I ran inside to grab a flashlight, ran back outside in just a tee shirt and my gotch running around our pool enclosure like a fool. Thank goodness it was the middle of the night so that none of our neighbours were shocked, hahah! The pool was clear - whew! Panic was rising, I was in tears - he was not responding to his name. And then, I looked harder in the pool garden. There, hidden under ground cover and Adams Needles was Ollie, sound asleep. Be still my heart dear imaginary reader!

I was so anxious that I couldn’t sleep until after 6 this morning. He of course looks something like this right now

Ahh the life of a dog, I feel like dirt but he is good. Thats the important thing. Cheers to all of our pups dear imaginary reader!

Well dear imaginary reader it’s a wrap, summer 2018 for all intents is over. For sure there are still fun times in good warm weather ahead, but these must be wrapped around the regularly scheduled events such as work, school and sports. I remember when our kids were much younger feeling ready for the routine of the school/sports year. By the time the new school year came around I was ready for routine, I bet you are surprised to read that aren’t you dear imaginary reader (wink, wink).

Our Labour Day weekend was filled with visitors, so nice to see loveable Nanny from London, our favorite neuroscientist and her Economics Guy and get extra time with Teach. We got a wee pinch of time with LLB before she headed up north with everyone but Teach. A smidgen of time with the Boy and DC - got a long weekend with Murphy which made Ollie happy (OK, he was happy to see him leave yesterday as well). TLOMIL became Chipper Man again, finally able to work on the pile of shake and make me more mulch along with the handy most thankful for help, from Teach. Me, well - I was chief cook and bottle washer as my Mom used to say. I managed to irritate my hip last week while working in the garden, what a shocker.

Yesterday this happened,

Yes dear imaginary reader THAT is Teach loading up her Dad’s car with some of her stuff to head toward the Big Smoke, entering the unknown world of an Occassional Teacher. What a process it is to get on as a full time teacher..oh my! I did my very best to hold it all together while this process was taking place. I heard more than a few “Ma, your making me feel bad”, “MOOOMMMMM you know that I’m not gone forever right?”, and then it was “Ok, that’s it, see you in a couple of days”! And then, she did IT. I couldn’t believe it....

She left - as she was supposed to. As we had prepared for. As she took the next step in “adulting” spreading her wings just the way that we had raised her. Ouch!

Today is the first day in 26 years that someone from our house is not starting or returning to some sort of educational institution. 20 freaking 6. No excitement of back to school shopping, tears of being left with or in a teacher/dorm/new city. Starting Uni’s in new countries I lived through with the big kids via Skype (oh how times have changed). 26! That means that the Boy will soon be 30 (Oh my dear GOD!!), LLB is closer to articles (anybody need a law student?) where ever they may take her, and soon (gulp) Teach will be in the BIg Smoke full time. Yip, I think that is a pretty dramatic way of shaking things up.

Today, Nanny is back in London

Today our neuroscientist and her Economics Guy should be safely home, the Big Smoke has both the girls and TLOMIL. The Boy and DC are busy with their professions - and wedding planning.

Today, the sun rose - the school bus trundled down the road and I had happy thoughts mixed with a few tears. And then it hit me, it really is JILLIE TIME!!! I will still have some juggling to do but now I come first, cheers to that dear imaginary reader!

I have been very fortunate this summer dear imaginary reader to been able to have spent a fair amount of time with my friend Sweetheart. She is a proud, fierce mother of four boys, or should I say 5 if I include Mr. Bond! Defs one of the most wise and level headed women I know, every now and then she throws out a zinger, you cant help but think, where the heck did that come from as you laugh your face off. A real beauty.

We were sitting last week in that bit of paradise near The Station when she shared this with me,

I immediately sent it off to a few of my kids, not all as I was sure that not “all” of them would get it, ya know? The responses ranged from thanks to you wouldn’t let me. That one hit hard cause he was right, I wouldn’t. That said, for sure I let myself begin to die slowly.

Yes, I do travel a bit, read a bit and do listen to the sounds of life. Don’t appreciate, kill self esteem, habitual - check, check and FM, CHECK!

While I am working on myself, it is very easy to slip back into routine and comfort. Some routine is required, but not all routine is good. I know that I am making progress, taking small steps backward along the dreaded tight rope; seeing the words above affirmed that I have made progress but still have work to do.

So dear imaginary reader, cheers to colors, change, satisfaction and an exciting future ahead. I hope we grow together and Sweetheart, thanks for the heads up.

What a whirlwind two weeks it has been dear imaginary reader! What began as a couple of calm fun filled days with Bass and Bling at their lovely cottage in The District with idyllic views like this...

In the flash of an eye became a loud fun filled crazy week in the Dominican Republic (yes in August.....) to celebrate the wedding of our nephew and his new bride. We stayed at the Colonial Majestic in Punta Cana, the check in for 33 people was more than a bit of an nightmare and loosing Teach’s bag within the resort for 5 hours didnt help the first impression any - things did get better.

Our party stayed in the Colinial Club area which is adult only, each room was assigned a “butler” ours was Georgi, my vote would be if you go to this resort and get him as your butler request a new one. He was more than a little bit invisible. Request, Felix, Freddy, Jacob - all butlers for other people who were very helpful to us. The food was very good, though we did get a little tired of buffet. Japanese was the best and the only I would recommend for the a la carte restaurants.

We had a great time, experienced our first foam party don’t need to do that again..maybe I am old ahah!). Spent most of our time on the beach. I think TLOMIL summed it up best, “we don’t like big cruise ships anymore and this stay is like a big ship at a resort”. Very good, but too many people and quiet space not available, ya know what I mean dear invisible reader?

The wedding was held at the Jellyfish Restaurant in Higuey, what a treat that was! The location is lovely, the venue amazing and the staff were outstanding. Our nephew and his new bride looked amazing and had a great time. Very well done guys! Congratulations again.

It was wonderful to get to spend time with most of our family but fun in the sun had to come to an end. We got one sleep in our own bed then off to The Station to spend time with other friends and this guy

How lovely it was to finish off the two weeks with good friends, good food and wine, boat rides, a kinder sun and falling to sleep with a breeze across my face while hearing the calling loons. Ahhhhhh. We are now home, thanks to the team that kept everything running while we were away, we missed you LLB.
While we loved seeing this -

It doesn’t beat this

Home.....ahhhh. Must get busy here in the middle of nowhere - talk real soon, take care dear imaginary reader.

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday. It was a good day dear imaginary reader, it began in a different sort of way.

Teach is mid way through the process of getting everything car switched over from the “right coast” (ooo this will tick a few of my imaginary friends off haha) to Onterrible (just to even things up!). Up bright and early, as the early arrival gets to the front of the line at Service Ontario, we headed into town armed with all of the necessary information. It was raining like a son of a gun and the wee little “kids car” was more like a two man kayak in places - let the adventure begin!

Upon arrival teach pulled the lucky number 66 and our wait began. Let me just say that people watching in Service Ontario is quite good, we all looked moderately like drowned rats! The wait wasn’t too long and of course our customer service person wasn’t familiar with the transferring process; help was quickly secured from the rep closest to her. Unfortunate, the “helper” seemed to have left her customer service gene at home yesterday. Now, to be fair this was a stressful adulting moment for Teach. Anything that hits the old pocketbook is stressful. Unknown process + decreasing bank account x customer disservice = stress & moderate panic with perhaps just a smidgen of attitude from both sides. Oh happy birthday to me hahaha! We left with plates, a temporary sticker and a date with the mechanic to update the safety on the car. Progress!

Upon completion of that wee adventure Teach announced that she was going to take me out for a birthday breakfast. In the same breath, I swear, she asked “which is the best way to get to McDonalds!” Oh how I love this kid! We ran our last errands while sucking down our coffees and number 2’s please, of course these were enjoyed hash brown first. :)

Once back home with the sun shining Teach headed up for a quick nap before taking me to the train and then on to work at the golf club. I headed into the weight room to torture my self for the next 35 minutes. Last Sunday our family friend Fit Guy was kind enough to come out to the middle of nowhere to learn more about my fitness level or should I say lack there of. Then, being the most awesome patient guy that he is - bless his little heart - he gave me a very beginner, beginner work out. One that has reps and sets. One that someone like me who is gung ho but is at heart a compliance person will follow. If done properly, my hip will improve and so will the rest of me, woot! I degress; yesterday was work out two. Sunday learning, Monday lets just call it pain day, Tuesday garden day, Wednesday work out day.

This is the view to the north from our weight room, I admit that I try to keep my back to it as its very easy for me to get distracted. Would be very easy to find all the things that need my hand on them - like right then! This fitness thing is a long journey for me, I had the wrong mind set earlier this year. Looking for quick change led to long lasting injury. I find myself while working in the garden reminding myself to stay within my time limits, to not “over do” it. Using this mind set, my time in the garden is improving and I think it shows, in the garden anyway! I feel like I could work out again today, though I won’t. Slow, slow, slow is my new motto.

Once Teach got up and at’em we headed to the GO train so I could head into the Big Smoke, meet up with TLOMIL and LLB have a little nosh and a couple flutes of Cava and head over to the Jays game. We wont even discuss the game other than to say that we left early and we NEVER do that.

The pic above was taken on the GO and clearly indicates that 1) I need to up my selfie game and 2) what the heck is it about my hair?!? Most of our family is heading to an adventure in the Dominican next week and if my hair looks like this here, I mean just YIKES!!!!!

On our way home from the game a fox leisurely crossed the road in front of us, stopping on the other side to take a good look at us as we passed by. His pointy ears and long nose easy to see, the white ring on the bottom of his tail caught in the moon light. Once home, I headed up stairs with my trusty four legged man, ran some water into the tub and settled in for a quick soak. After the water stopped dripping and my breathing settled I took a few minutes to relish being in middle of nowhere. No noise but for the cry of distant coyotes, crickets and the hoot every now and then of an owl.

Now THAT was a great birthday dear imaginary reader.

It has been both a fun filled week here in the middle of nowhere with just a bit of anxiety thrown in just to keep us on our toes dear imaginary reader. I am a bit of a list girl and not being around for those two weeks sure did add to my Jillie do list :). Mother Nature that fickle woman chose to ply us with super heat which is not necessarily condusive to working outside, especially when you have two “helpers” like I did this past week.

It’s tough to even get a bed made let alone work outside. The adventures of Murphy and Ollie are always good for a laugh, and usually at some point a life lesson.

The boy and DC have Murph in obedience classes and we do our best to keep him onside of the rules, at 10 months old he is still a bit of a handful but appears to be calming down somewhat. He and Ollie chase each other, sometimes Murph blows a tire while attempting a tight turn around the corner of the kitchen island. The speed and angle having a great impact (get it dear imaginary reader) on the outcome. Never the less, he always gets up, shakes his head and is ready to catch up or find where Ollie and the next adventure are. A gentle pat, a hug and a kiss and he is ready to go!

Oh I remember the days when it was like that with our kids....100 years ago. A little scary fall? No biggie, smile, clap your hands and away they go! Terrible to compare them to a dog but ya know, a quick rub of the boo boo, a hug and kiss worked just the same way with them. Back then, anything said as long as it was with the correct tone was magic.

And then they grew up. As they are beginning to say, “adulting is hard”. WIsh I could say that it gets easier, but alas, I cannot.

I wish that the words, when I can find them, were the right words and at the precise correct moment. Have you ever had a discussion and you just can’t find the right words - then 20 minutes after the person has left you come up with just the perfect thing to say? Man! If only that “I got this “ sentence showed up on time! Tone and inflection still carry weight but now those kids add their own spin on what the words mean sometimes, AHHHHHH. Frustration sets in and ya just have to keep your head on straight right?

Do not even get me started with trying to impart wisdom by text. That sh*t just does not work.

You want everything to be OK for your kids, family - circle. It won’t ever be perfect, that is just not attainable; to believe that perfection is your quest in my opinion will add unnecessary stress and anxiety to anyone’s life. Relationships are not perfect, it sucks to start a new career at the bottom, and monetary struggles are a way of life when you begin to adult. These are the facts of adulting. Commitment, hard work, sometimes blood, sweat and tears even when you cant see the forest for the trees will help to carry you along the journey. My grandfather was always one to say “you need to have a plan - you just cant float along”. TLOMIL says, “ have a one year, five year plan and write that sucker down”. I agree with both those wise men. Just remember that life happens, those plans are not written in stone. We are going back to those straight lines and bends again dear imaginary reader.

We CAN DO THIS!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!

So - as my kids take steps deeper into adulting, I feel anxiety , they feel anxiety. They call, text and come to visit. I try to look strong and confident; and before they leave I make sure to give them a rub here and there, make sure they have some Ollie time. A big “squeeze hug” and a kiss before they head out the door. Each and every day I send them every positive vibe I have.

And on the days that Murph is hanging with us I make sure they give him a hug, look into his beautiful eyes and take along some of his “OUCH!! Ahhh..I’m ok, lets go” attitude along with them.

And that right there, those seven little words are enough to make a conversation with me at least stutter if not grind to a halt dear imaginary reader. Truly, honestly, no word of a lie. As I have noted before speaking with new people (depending who they are to be specific) is usually an ok thing for me, but this one question is a stumper!

I know that may seem strange but my first response in the past no matter what I was doing for gainful employment was “I am a Mom and I also do.....whatever”. I am going to be 57 next week, when I give that answer these days I get a few looks ya know. You can almost see the words flashing through the mind of whom ever the poor unsuspecting soul(s) was that asked the question. Does she mean GRANDmother? Has she had a few too many? Is she having a moment? How do we get away.....

Seriously dear imaginary reader, I get it. But no matter what job I have had or may get in the future being “just a Mom” will always be my number one position. To be clear, it is my belief that my role as Mom/Ma/Mother and I am sure on occasion (though they would never admit it) B*tch, is the role that has prepared me the most throughly for what true adulting was going to throw my way. True with my Mom’s and brothers health issues there were a few things that got right up and in my face at an early age, but other than that oh yeah, and the guy who puked in my lap on the way home from the College Bowl while in High School, I was pretty lucky. I as a Mothers Helper for a few years during the summer, they had a house cleaner and I had every weekday afternoon off to head to the big smoke to indulge my favorite past time. That was it....until I held the boy, maybe just maybe I had held a baby once. Well SURPRISE!!!!

It I were looking for a job (which I am not), thanks to my children and ok, TLOMIL my skill set is pretty full. Ok, Ok, Ok, B*tchin AF. (Sometimes I kill myself..can you hear my chuckling as I slap the ole key board?!?). I am an organized, skilled manager and mulitasker (I just don’t necessarily get my kids name correct anymore while mid task but that is “just a Mom” thing. My scheduling abilities are easy applied to a multi person/multi activity calendar, which can be changed and updated to all in a flash! I am a team player, able to lead, coach and be the bad guy when required. Research flight/hotel/house/car, purchase and schedule said arrangements...already done (fingers crossed I get to go and play tooo!!!!!). Need info without using Google Home, I am your chick! Know lots of info about random things that can be used to influcene or just confuse the heck outta people, yip! Any candidate must know their way around Microsoft Products..ya, ya, ya...any mother can. Though no questions about excel - we have had an irreparable falling out. My abilities to mediate and negotiate are above average, though at times I have been known to perhaps laugh a bit if one of the wronged parties smirks. Just a wee issue I am sure!

You get it right? We Mom’s are Jill’s of all trades and master of none. I have worked some in some tough situations over the years, but this one, the “Mom” one, it takes the cake. It rakes you over the coals, flies you to the moon, make you shake with tears and beam with pride. It is definitely the most difficult and yet the best thing I have ever done in my life. And to think, I never thought I would have kids. Ooooooo...those pooping, crying, demanding for the rest of your life things? WTF?? No Way!

Ya way; so at my advanced age I will still answer the what do you do question with Mom first and on a confident day add blogger to my list (can you hear the shaking that goes with that one dear imaginary reader?) of things I do. Love ya kids...all of you!