Since the family was here to decorate the house I have taken time to enjoy how everything looks. You know, before the hoard, I mean herd, err..ummmm - yeah, the whole family descends, ya know what I mean dear imaginary reader? That said watching the twinkling lights ( a new addition this year, which the kids haven’t seen, we will see how that goes haha!), enjoying the quiet has placed me a tad behind schedule. YIKES!
Yesterday as I was checking out of the grocery store the cashier asked me how Christmas prep was going, to be honest I had to say “what Christmas prep?” Outside lights up, yup! House decorated, traditional poinsettia puchased by TLOMIL only (another tradition that shall not be changed), yup! Nuts and Bolts made, as of last night, yup! Tree up, uh up but not decorated, does that count?
I will not continue my way down the list of items yet to complete, it will freak me out and perhaps you as well dear imaginary reader. This year I am trying to adopt an attitude of its ok if things aren’t perfect. The most important thing is that our immediate family will all be together, something that happens every two years. With the first Christmas that DC was with us came a negotiation that a rotating year system should come into play. Thankfully, DC agreed and family law was declared, that said it was easy as there was only DC and the Boy as a couple. Perhaps this post next year will be a tad different, children if you read my blog make sure you stay on the negotiated schedule or else ! Right, I am soooo scary hahah!
Well friends, I best get on to checking things off the list, may the force of Christmas power you (and me!) through our lists of things to accomplish before the 24! Remember to hydrate (your choice of beverage may include seasonal bevies, or what ever type of alcohol gets you to the finish line!)
1, 2, 3 - and.....GO!
Its Friday night, the 14th of December. It’s been yet another wet dreary day, no snow and none in the forecast, looks like it will be a green Christmas. I have a long list that is slowly getting accomplished, very slowly dear imaginary reader. Its been an interesting week here in the middle of nowhere.
Last Saturday evening LLB and I headed into the German town near us to hear the son of old friends sing with a pal of his at a small pub called Strykerz. Great food, amazing wait staff, lovely to see old friends. Watching LLB listen to her old friend perform for the first time was like watching a munchkin opening a gift and eating a cupcake at the same time! The grin on her face, spread to a smile and then she just had to move! If you ever have an opportunity to see Greg Williams - jump at it. A wonderfully talented, kind gentleman.
Tonight, I am sitting on my perch doing something I haven’t had much chance to do lately. I am listening to TLOMIL giggle his school girl laugh as he watches something or other on You Tube. Every now and then I can hear a change in video and his laugh changes - a knee busting gafaw and then the giggle. A laugh that sounds so dirty I am not sure that I want to know what he is watching. All the while, I have a grin on my face like LLB did last weekend.
I believe that my list of things to accomplish can wait until tomorrow, I’ve missed hearing the giggles and laughs while TLOMIL was recovering. I guess hearing the laughter was on another list, one I didnt know I was holding on to. Its the little things that make you smile and remembering tonight, will spur me on tomorrow.
Cheers, dear imaginary reader.
I have been pretty quiet this last little while dear imaginary reader, stuff in my life caught up with me and I just had to go with it ya know? Its not something that I generally do, I put my big girl pants on, add some volume to my hair, wear my best yet comfy clothes, break out my Tory bag, and my well loved yet still nice Cole Hahns and get on with things. Since my Uncles funeral going with the flow has been difficult for me.
My brother as part of his job handles a dog that is trained in helping people through stress, anxiety - that kind of stuff. I knew I was stressed being at the funeral - don’t misunderstand, I wanted to be, actually needed to be there. That said, the service took place in the same church as my Dad’s funeral and I hadn’t been back since then. Since my parents divorced forever ago, my older siblings and I have not had much interaction with my Dad’s side of the family. So while I was with family, I didn’t really know them. Its a strange situation, one that has been in the back of my mind I guess for ever but particularly since my Dad passed.
Getting back to the dog....my brother asked me if I thought it would be ok to bring Blarney to the service. My response was sure! We all know I am a little dog crazy and petting a pup or cuddle time always sounds like a great idea to me. I was certainly not counting on her jumping up on me during the service, making me look in her beautiful brown eyes; to make me be present. My brother and brother in law, asked if I was ok - of course I was, not thinking I wasn't, or what made her do that. On the way home my brother asked me where I was when Blarney drew me back, listening to the service was my response. In my brothers oh so subtle way his response “Ah, no. Maybe you should think about that. Blarney cued on you, so you were feeling something”.
When you are a kid you just accept things for what they are, you aren’t given the details of situations you just live them. Ever since my kids were in their teenage years, they often asked why we didn’t spend much time with my Dad and his family. I didn’t have a real answer other than its always been that way. Since my Dads passing and knowing that it bothered my kids I have spoken to a few of my older relatives to get their spin on why things are the way there are. Before my Uncle’s service I had had the same sort of conversation with a couple of people. I guess I was in my own head trying to sort out a feeling of rejection that I never allowed to surface before. Blarney felt it and brought me back, and in the last two weeks her actions have hit home. I am certain that my kids as well have had the same feelings of rejection - all of us not really understanding.
Its taken a lot of reflection and a lot of tears, but I think I get it. My parents divorced back in the 60’s, at that time not many families had much experience with the whole process. Unlike today when more is know about the effects that divorce can have on kids and there is an abundance of services to assist before, during and after divorce for all parties concerned. I believe that without really thinking about it my fathers family divorced our whole family not just my Mom. I also believe that its made everyone more that a little uncomfortable, and unsure as to how to move forward. Understanding this helps me see how it has affected me - odd, allowing my self to go with this new knowledge has somehow given me a sense of peace.
Yesterday I looked around my kitchen that was filled with my husband, our kids and their partners, Ollie and Murph. Everyone was excited to be decorating for Christmas and making plans for the Holiday season. I truly am blessed. With my Dad gone, I had already been spending more time with my younger siblings and chatting with older relatives - had reached out to cousins. This year, heading into the holiday season my heart is a little lighter.
I think I am just going to go with it and use this new clarity to help me take new steps to get off the tightrope.
It is now seven weeks since TLOMIL had his total knee replacement. Seven long weeks dear imaginary reader.
I have been his official chauffeur, for the last three weeks that has meant getting up at 5:30 a.m. and being out the door shortly after 6. Hauling our butts down the escarpment to the GO station, our trusty sidekick Ollie curled up in my guys lap staying nice and warm for the ride down. I have been thanking the engineering Gods for heated seats and steering wheels, haha! We try to ensure that we arrive at the station with plenty of time for TLOMIL to make it down stairs and then up the other side to get to the correct platform. The effort required to do just that has been quite a test for him.
It has been difficult to watch my big, loud, full of life guy be humbled by this surgery. The real work has yet to begin - Physio now, but the rebuilding of his leg that has atrophied over decades will be the real test. I can see glimmers of what could be pass across his face, then comes the articulation of that thought. Last night he saw a commercial on T.V., someone was riding a bike..”I’m going to be able to ride a bike again” says TLOMIL with a smirk on his face. He is currently rocking a full rotation with minimal tension on our recumbent stationary bike...there is work to be done.
The last seven weeks have meant allowing myself to become TLOMIL’s “person”, putting him totally before myself in order for him to be safe and to begin his journey back to healthy and strong. For me, that wasn’t a tough decision to make, care giver is my favorite role. Now, seven weeks in? Not getting up to get him something, or automatically get in the drivers seat - not so easy. I have to remind myself that there is a very short gap between care giver and enabler.
As my guy meets with a possible rehab trainer my short career as his chauffeur is entering its last mornings (for that I am oh so thankful) and evenings. I have been doing my best at taking care of myself as well. The not so gentle giant is working wonders on my hip, though why does change have to hurt so much? A question I often ask as he is massaging/tourturing me on his table. Ollie and I have begun to walk again on a regular basis, something that I have missed thanks to this darn injury. My challenge now is to not over do it. I filled up the ole bosu ball, doing bridges is far more difficult for me now...I have to let that be ok - just work through it and get stronger.
The next six months will be hard work for both me and TLOMIL. Time to work hard, get strong and healthy - time to dream of new adventures ahead - far different than we have had in the past. Our first big test will be DC and the Boy’s wedding, the excitement and adventure it will bring. Being able to enter that adventure with our whole family....now THAT is a great motivator. Cheers to sore muscles and making it all worth while dear imaginary reader!
A couple of months ago The Boy told me that he would be coaching a hockey team in the Hills around where he and DC live. Oh, and that DC would be the trainer. He then asked if I would be the team manager ”you’ve done this before Ma, so shouldn’t be a big deal, right?” I asked for a while to think about it.
The seconds right after he asked I just wanted to say not right, WRONG!! It is a big deal, do you have any idea what being a manager involves? I kept my mouth shut as I wasn’t thinking about hockey in any way. Not even for a nano second dear imaginary reader. I was thinking totally about myself and what it would mean to be the manager of the team. A team where I would only know two people. In a community where I knew no one, I didnt even know how to get to the rink?
How could I do this, I would have to TALK to PEOPLE. Who would be impacted by my decision? I never even thought to ask myself the question did I want to do this.
Living in the middle of nowhere it is very easy to not have to interact with real people for days at a time. Heck, if I have family pick up groceries I could go for weeks huddled safe and sound in my own little world. I mean, seriously, give me someone to take care of - and I don’t mean myself - and the dog or dogs to chat with and I am good. I have allowed myself to enter a cocoon of if i am at home I’m ok. Not much stress, I can control most situations..... I have allowed myself to fall into this trap so easily that I don’t even acknowledge asking myself the question,if I do this could I get hurt.
Could what ever it is hurt my body in any way, ooohhhh probs if I look hard enough. New people? Nope! Too many chances to embarrass myself or whom ever is crazy enough to go out in public with me. Drive in the dark? Since last fall’s encounter with Bambi, yeah...hard no to that. And I mean, take a look at me. I am short and round and struggle to dress in clothing that is not garden worthy or comfort driven.
I had to, no, HAVE to find a way to change my daily self talk. It is really difficult. So very very easy to talk myself out of doing anything, that is unless its for someone else and completed close to home.
I am now scaring myself on a weekly basis. I reluctantly said yes to The Boy and DC, I get to spend extra time with adult children, bonus. Then I get to struggle while I try to hold it all together in public. Last week I ran the power skating portion of a team practice. I had forgotten how much I enjoy yelling at kids while helping them learn something I love. I’m not on the ice for insurance purposes and the nagging thought in the back of my head that I could get hurt. Baby steps again.
Going to that practice meant leaving our home after 7 pm in the dark in October. Doing that made be nervous for the whole ride into the Hills. Then like an idiot I chose to drive a new route. What a goof, for at least half of it I was thinking, no actually saying out loud to my self, “what where you thinking???? If you hit a deer out here there will be no one around to help you!!!” Needless to say, I travelled home on a busier route. But I made it, saw a porcupine, nary a deer. FIngers crossed my luck continues.
LLB and I took our before pics and measurements on the weekend, Teach ya gotta do yours. We talked each other into actually doing it, we have talked at each other about taking them for months. Again, scary but we did it. And no one got hurt.
Every day I have to find something to say to myself that will help me grow, take chances, no matter how small. If not, I will never get off this tightrope.
Today, I shared this fear with you. I acknowledged it, holy sh*t is this freaking me out. Cheers to the baby steps, slowly getting over my fears and allowing myself to think of myself first.
Until next time dear imaginary reader.
I suppose the title should read Sunday Afternoon Reflections..just noticed the time - my how it flies when you are busy and having fun. Actually this weekend has had us running the gamut of emotion. In the end, feeling the warmth of contentment, family love and appreciation.
Friday was TLOMIL’s birthday - thinking that I had plenty of time to finish up the last minute things I needed to do, I was taking my time - chatting with Ollie as I worked in the kitchen, dancing around the island with my own dance vibes playing in my head as the birthday boy took a restorative nap on the couch. The phone rang and I actually answered it, something I don’t do very much anymore unless it is a name or number I am familiar with on the screen. This small voice whispered “Ma, there has been a fatality on the GO line, we cant go all the way, can you pick me up in Oakville?” Of course the answer was yes, my second thought was F!!! I have to get this and this and this done. I haven’t showered...I ran into the family room, woke up the sleeping prince and informed him what I had to do. Ollie and I got in the truck and began the trek which had me leaving the house 45 minutes before I was supposed to and would add at least 45 on to the trip which should have been an hour and a quarter total. I wasn’t far onto the next road, having driven by some massive Tamworth hogs that make me smile every time I see them, fields bordered with the fading beauty of autumns colorful display that I thought - Jill you are an insufferable ASS. Some one died, and you are worried about a birthday dinner. I mean seriously, give your head a shake girl!
A couple of minutes later The Boy called asking for the evenings plan - once the change had been shared he offered to go pick up LLB and the Scots new car and head to our place with it. I chatted with Compliance Girl along the way to the train, got LLB a stop earlier than originally planned and made our way to Burly to pickup the Scot and head back to the middle of nowhere. My mind was running at a thousand miles an hour of what I needed to get done first as I ran in the front door. What did I see? Lit candles, cut veggies, hearing the voices of The Boy and DC telling me that they would create the appetizer while I had a shower. TLOMIL , LLB and the Scot all pitching in so we would be ready when our other friends arrived. All of them adulting cohesively to assist me. It made my heart sing - and the wee gin probs helped as well. We went on to have a wonderful evening full of laughs, good food and continued assistance from the kids. I loved every second of it. Thanks again kids for your help xoxo!
We woke up yesterday tired - checking my messages I found one sent at 4:14 A.M. - Jill when you get this please call - all ok, but think this should be communicated by phone. This message was from B.C. So i did send a text as it was too early. One of our dear friends had been in a horrible car accident in Maui, they were and still are in rough shape but will survive. Yet another reason to be thankful. The car accident weighed heavily on our minds, especially as LLB and her Scot were out driving the back roads and hills of our area yesterday trying to figure out how to drive a standard vechile. I did go for one such excursion and only wound up with minor whiplash!
Last evening I got a call from my baby sister informing me that our Uncle had just passed away, while it wasn’t unexpected it is never easy news right dear imaginary reader? Within minutes I was speaking to my cousins and their family expressing condolences and hopefully sharing love.
I am sitting here at my perch having survived another “stick” driving outting with LLB, finishing up my coffee. The kitchen is a disaster, wine glasses from Friday nights fun (I just couldn’t look at anymore dishes yesterday ok?”, mess from this mornings Christmas morning breakfast trial all over the island. TLOMIL and LLB out driving. Its quiet, Ollie asleep on the dog bed in the corner. I am so very lucky to live where I do, how I do, with those that are in my life. Take a moment today dear imaginary reader to count your blessings
Today marks the three week anniversary of Hinge day dear imaginary reader. Yesterday was the first foray into the big bad world, for both TLOMIL and I really. A drive into the big smoke for meetings for the big guy and lunch with a couple of the kids for me. The trip drove (no pun intended hahah) home a couple of things for me.
Usually, I am the one sitting in the passengers seat as we embark on any kind of a road trip. I have no problem driving, sometimes I enjoy it. Heading into the T Dot is not usually one of those times and yesterday did not disappoint. A moderate miracle did occur, my guy sat in the back, knee supported and carried on a lovely conversation and not once, seriously, not even once on the way downtown did he backseat drive. And he was in the back seat hahah! I love driving my SUV (we will not discuss the things that I dislike about it as I would never stop.... less than a year and the Infiniti is gone!), our drive down was easy peasy, just over an hour. At times this trek can take 2 to 3 hours depending on traffic. My comfort zone ended as we got off the Gardiner Expressway and onto York Street. Again, I don’t mind driving but the hordes of pedestrians- that is another story. People stepping off the sidewalk and into traffic with nary a thought! Crossing at crosswalks against lights! The corner of Front Street and York was almost too much for me - sensory overload! We didnt have far to go - just before King Street I entered the driveway to make my way into the parking garage under my guys office building. The ramp was soooo steep and sooo tight I had to raise my seat to even TRY to see over the hood of my truck - and use the front camera to make it down. Defs way out of my comfort zone.
These past weeks have been eye opening in different ways than I had imagined. TLOMIL is a matter of fact, no holds barred, you don’t have to agree with what I am saying but just listen kinda guy. I don’t think anyone would describe him as warm and fuzzy unless he is discussing his family or his dogs. A self reliant man in many ways, and very traditional in others. Ya know what I mean?
I imagined a recovery in which I would be outside winterizing the gardens with timely trips inside to check on my patient. I had ideas of preparing his favorite foods, catching up on quiet things in the house while he enjoyed blissful healing sleep. Well, dear imaginary reader I was living in a fantasy world in my own little bean. This process has shown me a side of TLOMIL that has taken me for a loop for sure! His comfort zone equaled the space I created for him in our family room and little ole me within 10 feet. At ALL TIMES.
My hot burning guy seems to have had his internal thermostat reset to cold...he was always the guy that warmed me up! Now Oli snuggles close in effort to keep his master warm. Me, who has trouble talking, especially with regard to tough things has turned into a slave driver when it comes to getting Physio accomplished. Can you hear the crack of my whip? I have managed to get a few things done outside while people visit TLOMIL, the other day while Fit Guy was visiting I headed out to cut the grass.
Usually TLOMIL does all the lawn stuff, ride, push mower, whipper sniper - I am the garden/pool chick. I now hate my front lawn.
This is the view from the road, down into the ditch and up the hill to the front lawn. Using the trusty John Deere to ride along the cusp is a scary thing for me...riding on a angle holding on so I don’t slip off the seat and therefore engage the safety switch and have the engine stop. What if it happened? Would the tractor roll over? Could I jump out of the way? Oh the thoughts that go through my little bean! So I get as close as I can without causing a self inflicted heart attack. But wait! What is the alternative...that’s right the push mower! Now lets talk about me, with my hip and ankles walking on an incline with one leg higher than the other trying to keep the lawn mower in a straight line......OYE! We will not even discuss this freaking hill.
But I regress, this week I didnt even get that far. Just as Fit Guy left, and TLOMIL came looking for me within seconds...the John Deere ran out of gas and we had none to fill it with. On the way back from Physio yesterday morning, before heading into the Big Smoke I picked some up. While my guy got ready to head downtown, in the pouring rain (with a little hail thrown in there just for fun), I headed to the back yard with the gas can. Filled John up, hopped on, got him going and moved forward. I had to turn the wheel to get around the horse shoe pit and then even though the engine was running he stopped. I looked down and the front left tire was flopped over on its side hugging the wheel! No way was I getting that fixed this whole thing is soooooo far outside my comfort zone! John is still “resting” outside, help is on the way with kids due to visit to sing happy birthday to TLOMIL.
Last week we celebrated, I use the term loosely this year dear imaginary reader, our 32 wedding anniversary. This past year, especially the past weeks have certainly had their challenges, no matter being with TLOMIL IS my comfort zone. I guess my zone has just gotten a little smaller, will involve quilts and when outside developing new skills.
I feel that this post is kinda of scattered dear imaginary reader - welcome to my last three weeks!
Hinges...something that we use each and every day without a single thought. Have you ever thought about how many “hinges” /joints you have in your body? Depending on your age, you may or may not have given them a thought. You may love them, baby them or out right hate them. Here in the middle of nowhere we are 9 days post hinge replacement. Yip, its been 9 long days since TLOMIL had a complete knee replacement. His knee was injured back when he was a kid, then again in College. Repaired well given the day, can you say hello 70’s! Repaired again in the 90’s, and now replaced. It was not an easy decision to come to, and so far the jury is still out.
The thought of major surgery has been on my guys mind for a long time. Eventually his knee basically gave him the finger, to have quality of life the sucker had to go! For myself and our kids, it was a decision that weighed heavily on our minds and hearts. A few years ago, we lost my Dad to complications from a knee replacement. For sure, TLOMIL had none of the issues that my Dad had, so in theory there should not have been any co-relation. Our hearts and minds had a difficult time making that connection. The first weekend home from the hospital (which was just an over nighter), our house was full of a bunch of our kids. Those who could not make it home were checking in using varied forms of electronic communication. The love felt around my guy was awesome, I am sure it helped get him through that first night and the following days.
Eventually the kids had to get back to their lives and jobs. Thank goodness for my brother allowing us to borrow his ice machine, We have also been using a machine called Game Ready which adds compression to the cold water longer leg sleeve. Between the two (the borrowed machine will be used long term) my guys knee is looking much smaller with all bruising just about gone. Gotta ramp up the Physio. I think its the small every day things that take the most thought. Getting from point A to point B, finding something, anything that he will eat. What aids you need to rent to make things a little easier. All the drugs....and sleep, a good solid sleep soon...please. Gently pushing TLOMIL to do even a bit of Physio while he is feeling dizzy -“spun” is his word of choice. The painkillers and he don’t play nicely together so OTC is how we had to go, less spinning - more pain.
As my guy headed home from “the bush” the week before his surgery he stopped at a Resort that we have always wanted to go to. Being the optimist (hahah) that he is, he booked us in for this the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. I wondered how in heck we were going to be able to do it, nervous and excited at the same time. I checked in with the lovely Kim at Killarney Lodge earlier this week to inquire about possible mobility work arounds. She was lovely, I allowed myself to get excited again, the thought of good food prepared for me.....All the time knowing that the whole idea was foolish, though motivating for TLOMIL. Know what I mean dear imaginary reader?
I sit here at my perch on this dreary Thanksgiving Sunday. Thankful that TLOMIL came to his senses - we cancelled our long dreamed about weekend at Killarney Lodge (they were amazing about our last minute cancellation), we will get there one day dear imaginary reader. If you have the chance, check them out - and go. My guy is in the family room attached to one ice machine or another, Ollie curled up by his side. We had an overnight with the Murph man who also enjoyed snuggle time with my guy, the dogs just seem to know TLOMIL needs some extra gentle love. The girls are away - LLB heading to her beloved Scotland and Teach celebrating in Paris. Tomorrow the Boy, DC and Murph will come for Thanksgiving dinner. This year I am extra thankful. TLOMIL got through the surgery, we will get through the next stages (though I may be saying thank you to red wine haha). Our family is living in the same country - even the Scot! We are healthy, have an amazing support system of friends and family and have a year filled with adventure ahead of us.
From my family to yours dear imaginary reader, have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, almost forgot (how could I do that!!), I am also thankful for you dear imaginary reader, so very nice to have someone real or imagined to share my thoughts and tribulations with. Baby steps back along the tight rope ....
Oh Weebly......how you frustrate me GGGRRRRRRRRR.....
Anyhoo......dear imaginary reader, I have chatted about The Plan and my intention to become a stronger, steadier on my feet version of myself. I would like a leaner shape, but don’t necessarily care what the scale has to tell me. Would like to loose the bat wings (hahahah), and the hip/periformis pain (literally a pain in my a**!). I want, no WILL be able to walk on loose sand, not worry about uneven ground (including cobble stones) and all round feel and look like a healthier me. Whew! There...down in black and white. Makes a difference when you commit to other people, even if the majority of them are imaginary! I know the real ones, will take pleasure in kicking my tush when it is required. Yes, I have a date that I want to achieve this for, I mean seriously can you hear the wedding bells? But I have to be at my best before that so I can begin the search for appropriate MOG wear!
I decided to have an organized approach. Don’t get carried away now - I have not joined a gym. I simply do not have the confidence to do so - women can , no people can be so catty and mean and I am just not up to dealing with that kind of B.S. right now. As you know, Fit Guy set me up with a excercise program which I am following and can change up if I get bored (hasn’t happened yet, still trying to not be so perfect with it haha). I have been seeing an amazing Physiotherapist for a long time, and will continue to do so. That said, the length of time I am able to go between treatments is longer, so something must be working right dear imaginary reader? I am fortunate that my future DIL is now a practicing chiropractor, I have added her awesome skills to The Plan. I must note that already she has accomplished a great stink eye that says “oh no you won’t”, when I say I’m going to do something or she sees me head off to do something that I think I can do, but know that I shouldn’t. I can feel it drilling through me before I even look at her hahahah! I tracked my food intake and sent it along to a Registered Dietician, but more about that later. Last but not least is my not so gentle Giant Registered Massage Therapist. The Giant, is a new addition to the team, not that his treatment is new to me - I just could not have gotten far into a treatment without tapping out before now.
I am working out in our sunroom/weight room
The view is great, between that space and our living room I can do most of what I want/need to do. Still looking for a spot to put a TRX and need to get some kettle bells, but things are moving along
I am one that always feels better when I have moved, not necessarily when I am moving - in the end I am happy that i did it, ya know? I believe the thing that is proving to be the biggest challenge for me is food. Turns out that I wasn’t eating enough and not at consistent times. My poor body was holding tight to calories cause it didnt know when the heck it was going to get fed next! I generally make good choices and don’t eat processed foods, and yes dear imaginary reader, I have cut back on my wine consumption.
Well...best get back to the joys of laundry and working out. Have a great day dear imaginary reader. Take good care.
I am currently sitting under our pergola which is located by the pool at the back of our yard. If I look straight ahead (and forget out the post supporting the pergola I look across the pool, notice the garden, green lawn and then bush. To my left, if I squint a bit I can pretend that our neighbors garage isnt there - this way I just see deck, flowers, a picnic table and our B.B.Q. To the right, it is the bank of hydrangea and lilac trees that I have shown you before dear imaginary reader. Behind them lies our horseshoe pit, fire pit and lawn which stretches to bush as well.
I am out here to get some work done on this blog, as well as to have the warmth of the sun hopefully assist me in feeling a bit better. Have had a horrible headache for three days now and hope that some sun and fresh air help me to feel better.
The pool needs to be cleaned but I can’t get up. I am mesmerized by the soft, gentle breeze that every now and then lifts a wisp of hair on my forehead, or kisses my shin as it sits in the sun. I lift my head, close my eyes and do my very best to be present, in this very moment. Just when I think, I got this, a beautiful hummingbird buzzes by me to take nourishment from the pot to my left. I watch him for the few seconds that he is there, then move on to a pot further away.
I can hear shells being dropped to the pool deck by the birds above. I am reminded of the lovely Blue Jay that landed on one of the trees close to the kitchen window while I was chatting with LLB this morning.
Ollie has just gotten up from his place in the sun by my feet, he is going in to explore what the heck is making the sound in the Adams Needles where I found him on our fire alarm night. I can hear him rustling the plants, and the jingle of his tags.I can see the needle tops dancing as he progresses on his hunt which will be for naught.
In the background there is a faint hum of traffic (damn people who have found out about our back roads) and the cicadas.
This is just the second time I have sat out here this summer, and I am happy to do it alone. Ah...I can hear a tree frog trilling! Wee birds chirping.....
So very blessed to live where I do.
I will sign off for today so that I can be present in my backyard haven..try to take time today dear imaginary reader, and you too Ectogirl to be present and mindful.